Change

My have things changed since the last time I posted on here.

I read my previous Carpe Diem post and had to laugh at myself a little. I've come along way since that last post....but I still have a ways to go.

I've accomplished a lot in the time pasted:

I applied to grad school, went on an interview and found out the same day I was accepted to Thomas Jefferson's Couple and family Therapy Program! So yes, I am no longer working towards but I'm actually IN graduate school. *cues claps from the crowd* yea i know isnt it great? I just started on wednesday but I really enjoyed it. Seems like its going to be challenging yet enjoyable and not a got damn swindle like undergrad.

I had to quit my job, so I am no longer working at JJPI. I was a lil sad at first because I could use the money and I actually enjoyed my experience there. I'm currently looking into other positions to see what I could do to make money in the meantime as well as increase my experience but I'm hopeful I will find something.

I moved into a one bedroom apt on camups. Its strange not living with anyone after spending most of my time with a roommate but its a very freeing experience already. I think I'll be able to find more of myself and become more in tuned with me and the things I go through.

Overall life is really great right now. I can't complain and these next two years are gonna really shape me in a way that I couldnt imagine.

I'm essited :)

An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing.

Samuel Smiles

Carpe Diem

Something has come over me recently...

An undenyable feeling to do everything i wanted to ever do in life. In the past couple of weeks I've been able to get my finances in order, reconnect with family, start my prepping for graduate school applications and bought a new laptop (which is TRES sexy btw lol)

There are so many goals that I want to achieve, so many things that I want to do and I don't ever want to say I have any regrets about not going after them.

My go getter attitude surfaced after a string of incidents, both good and bad, that opened my eyes to how SHORT life really is. Within one week I celebrated my grandmothers 82nd birthday and learned of my friend's 20 yr old sister, Tini, being murdered. Both women were unable to attain things that they wanted in life.

Tini never got the chance to see 21 and do all the things that a legal adult can do. she wont get totally shitfaced and vomit on her 21st bday. she'll never meet the man of her dreams, get married and start a family. She'll never get the chance to see her nieces and nephews grow up.

My grandmother on the other hand was blessed to live a long life...but is filled with regret because of the things she was unable to do. Her life was consumed with being a wife and mother. Although she has a beautiful family to show for it complete with great grandchildren; she has nothing that she can say she did on her own. She never finished hs or went to college, never worked a job or even went shopping by herself. she never had any true independence from her role as a family woman.

Those two examples is what made me really decide that no goal is too big or too small (I know that sounds corny but thats the best way I can put it LOL) for me to tackle. Of course there are a few challenges that I'm afraid to face along the way; but what is the worst that can happen if i try? Nothing. A door will close on you or not open for you but If you don't try you never will find the door that was left unlocked for you to open.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION

This is an angry post...

Recently things have been looking up at work. They hired a couple new guys aka 'my boys' and their energy has just made the place more pleasant.

There is only one problem.. My supervisor 'Dimbo Jimbo'. When i first started I thought JImbo was cool. He seemed focused on positivity and making sure the work place was free from negativity. He warned me to stay out of 'cliques' and to stay on top of my work. My other coworkers talked negatively about the guy and I never understood why, until i started observing more and listening to what comes out of this fool's mouth.

Jimbo is one of THE MOST incompetent supervisors I've ever had. actually he is the ONLY incompetent supervisor I've ever had. He is the person the breeds the negativity in the office and whats amazing is that he truly has no clue. He thinks people talk about him behind his back and start arguments with him for no reason. He feels as though he does his job and is a beaming beacon for positivity. Well excuse me, but I don't think there is anything positive about telling your subordinates that they can find a job elsewhere is they have any questions and concerns.

The man also has a bad case of napoleon complex. He's just a guard dog and a micromanager. He never helps you when you need help and never has anything of relevance to say during meetings. All in all It really bothers me that I have a damn fool as a boss. But I'm done complaining about things that cannot change, all i can do in the end is change me and my situation and I am diligently working on that.

"Me" TiME

Today was a 'me' day...

it's a day when i just take time out for myself and do the things I want to do.

Whether it's shopping, ppl watching, browsing the web, or working out; It's what I want to do and usually i do it by myself.

There's something about being alone that I really cherish. It wasn't always that way though. When I was younger...not so long ago, I hated being alone. But i was forced into a situation a couple years back that really forced me to be alone...and like it. For awhile it was really a struggle to be alone, I used to agonize over what my "friends" were doing without me or what good times I was missing out on. But i soon got over it and went from being alone by force to being alone by my own will.

(picture of me on my 'me' day)



Someone once asked me the other day about me being alone. Why I like it so much; don't you go crazy by yourself?

my answer? FUCK no. There is no better company than my own company. I can never do me wrong and I can always rely on me to make the best decision. I also get more done and do the best thinking when I'm alone.

It's surprising that I have as many friends and associates as I do now. For someone so outgoing and personable, I HATE being around a lot of ppl all the time. I get sick of it and eventually need my time away from ppl.

To this day I'm thankful for my ability to be alone. I can't stand to be around clingy ppl or people who can't do the simplest of tasks alone. I guess it irks me because i think of how i used to be following ppl around everywhere. All i can say is that I'm thankful for how I am now :)



“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.”

Wayne Dyer

ps. here is a picture of me in my workout gear...i promised to put a before picture. I guess i'll put up an after pic before i leave for Miami or after miami..idk we'll see.

Current Events

Just a lil update of everything that's going on.

I went to Jersey to spend the extra long memorial day weekend with Marce. We ended up going to a Slurball competition. Slurball you ask? it is basically a fusion of flip cup and beer pong which equals a mess lol. I didn't play...i didn't even wanna go at first, but i ended up having a good time with good ppl, which included a very volatile boob flashing Brazilian girl named Chay Chay getting money all day muthafukas LOL. We ended up singing along to old school songs like joyful joyful while drunk...needless to say it was memorable on memorial day HA

On Saturday I went to a wine tasting with Nic the other day. It was at this boutique called Totally Posh Boutique. it was tres tres cute and upscale. The clothes were fabulous and so where the owners. The food that was there was catered by this company called Intimate Cuisines. They served lots of amazing food like wings and lil grill cheese and basil paninis...which I ate 20 of. They taught us about different wines and how to analyze them all bougie like ha ha. Overall we had a good time and will be partaking in more 'classy' events such as this.

tonight i went to dinner with Amber and ate at this quaint authentic Irish pub called Kildare's. Even though i ate out (no homo) I still managed to maintain my clean diet. I ate a flat bread pita sandwhich that was grilled with extra virgin olive oil (or EVOO as Rachel ray calls it) that had roasted garlic, sliced tomatoes and fresh basil! yay to me! it was really good and we'll probably go back for the happy hr special.

Tomorrow is Amira's 21ST BIRTHDAY!! FINALLY!! LOL we're all going over to her place then manayunk. I'm so excited for a night out, its been a while.

just say no...

to everything!


thats what this new clean diet feels like. and before you say, "alanna why are you dieting?!?!" I'm not actually dieting, im revamping my diet. Cleaning it up as the name of the diet says.

Clean eating is a way to get the most benefits out of your food as you possibly can. Its about using food to fuel your body instead of harming it. and as a person who believes that the body is a temple, I totally agree with this balanced diet.

So what do you have to do to clean it you may ask?

Im bout to break it down for ya. OK so the guidelines are:

Eat six small meals per day

Eat lean protein and complex carbohydrates at each meal: turkey, chicken, legumes (beans)

Drink two or three liters of water a day

Never skip a meal

Carry a cooler filled with clean eating foods when you are away from home

Consume essential fatty acids each day

Depend on fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains

NO Over processed and re-fined foods: white bread, white sugar, pretty much anything white that isn't dairy lol

NO Saturated and trans fats

NO Sugar loaded colas and fruit juices

and for the least favorite rule...you MUST limit your alocholic beverage intake ::hears boos in the background:: yea yea i kno i kno.. like i said i struggle with this one the most LOL

This may seem like a strict diet but once you get into it you really dont notice what your doing. I've been doing it for about a month..cheating on weekends just to slowly wean myself off junk and still kinda treat myself every now and then. But since i've started i must admit i feel better, look better and overall my health has increased.

I will be posting a picture up here soon for a before and after deal lol My main goal is to gain muscle and look more lean and healthy.

"Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies." ~Frank Gillette Burgess <--so treat your bodies well!!

Your very pretty...are you mixed?

The above statement or "where are you from?" is something that i get a lot due to my 'good hair'(fucking hate that term btw) and personality (i guess i act Caribbean??).

Either way, I feel like more and more frequently I find others, as well as myself sometimes, mistaking beautiful components and aspects of black women for mixed race women. Sometimes black women are mixed but a lot of times they aren't. My question is, Why must beautiful black women have to be something other than 'black' to be beautiful?

There are plenty of good looking black women such as Gabrielle union, sanaa lathan, beyonce, Janet Jackson, ciara, Angela bassest...the list is endless; that are not racially mixed and yet still very striking looking.

In no way am i dissing women who are mixed or come from the islands (another thing i get a lot), cause in the end most black ppl are mixed to a point. Its just that Black women need to start taking pride in just being black and not trying to reach for other ethnic backgrounds that are just faintly there in their bloodline.

PS. For those of you who ARE black and mixed, take pride in being black and stop just appreciating the sexual parts that you got. For example: if ur a mixed black guy, don't be all hype about being black only when talking about ur dick or if ur a girl rep black when talking about ur ass...that's fucking disrespectful. thank you.